What Is Actually Considered in Child Custody and How Divorce Mediation Can Help

During a divorce, parents naturally want to protect their children while securing their own custody rights. In a litigated divorce, in which the couple goes before a judge, the law requires the judge to consider the child’s best interests. Judges recognize that parents have the right to maintain a relationship with their children, but you never really know what evidence might be brought up to sway the judge or how the other spouse’s attorney will portray you during litigation. So litigation is a very risky route to take in child custody.

Mediation keeps the focus on your children

In mediation, we also consider the best interests of the child, but because both parents are involved in decision-making and negotiation, and because I, as the mediator, work to maintain a spirit of cooperation and respect, we can ensure that the interests of both parents are protected.

The law does not specify what qualifies as “in the best interests of the child,” but as intelligent adults, we know that children benefit from stability, consistency, a peaceful home life, and, ideally, involvement of both parents in their lives. In mediation, we discuss what that looks like in your family and for your children, and we negotiate a settlement customized for the benefit of your own family’s needs.

What happens when child custody decisions are left to a judge

In litigation, judges want to see healthy communication between parents – no fighting – and cooperation for the benefit of the child. But this isn’t always evident in a litigated divorce. Because the atmosphere is, by definition, adversarial – one spouse against the other – the judge may have a difficult time determining which parent should have primary custody, how to share custody or determine visitation rights, and how to divide decision-making authority and other important parenting responsibilities.

Once the judge rules, you are legally obligated to follow that decision. It can be very difficult and expensive to petition the court for a change. You will need to present evidence that the court did not recognize or did not consider compelling the first time, which means, usually, you will have to wait and collect new evidence to present to the court. This could mean the children will be in a less-than-ideal situation for a while before changes can be made to the judge’s initial decision.

For the benefit of your family, it is better to settle outside of court. It is difficult to predict how a judge will decide, and parents are rarely happy with the outcome of a litigated divorce or child custody case. By taking control over the future of your family through mediation or collaborative law, you can navigate the future with the help of your mediator and plot a course that benefits every member of your family.

Only you know what is best for your family. Reach out to our Doylestown, Bucks County office at (215) 345-5259 for a complimentary consultation to see how we can help you create a child custody arrangement that benefits your children while preserving parental rights.