Custody and High-Stress Divorce in Bucks County
As parents, you want the best for your children. But if your divorce is high-stress and emotionally charged, that emotion can cause either or both of you to make demands or say things that could inadvertently hurt your children or affect your final settlement. You want to find the divorce method that will protect both your future and the children.
Divorce options
Most people think of litigation when they think of divorce—having your day in court and telling the judge all the things your spouse has done to lead to this. But litigation should be the last resort. I have chosen to specialize in mediation and collaborative law because I saw so many couples suffer through litigation, and I wanted to offer an alternative.
The traditional divorce court system is very lengthy, sometimes taking several years to settle. Furthermore, court divorce is extremely expensive because every interaction with your lawyer and every court appearance costs money. It causes a dramatic increase in stress and emotional trauma because of its adversarial nature.
Litigation also steals your privacy because when something goes through the court system, it becomes public record. Therefore, anyone can read about your personal life. And in litigation, you lose control of your future because the judge ultimately makes the final decision regarding division of assets, child support, and custody.
In mediation and collaborative law, however, you maintain control over the process and the final decisions. In mediation, you and your spouse work together to make decisions, with a mediator providing details on the law and helping to maintain an atmosphere of cooperation. In collaborative law, each spouse has a lawyer, but all parties sign a contract to keep the divorce out of court. This encourages a spirit of cooperation while you still have a lawyer working on your behalf.
Mediation and the collaborative process are based on your timeframes – not the Court’s timeframe. Substantially less time also means substantially less expense. The atmosphere is cooperative by nature and thus less stressful, and your private life remains private. We encourage couples to consider mediation or collaborative law because of these significant advantages over litigation.
Mediating child custody and support
Whether you choose mediation or collaborative law, there is a mediator who helps you and your spouse work through roadblocks to come to a healthy compromise that satisfies both parents and keeps the best interests of the children at the heart of the process.
You may be experiencing fear about your future, guilt for what the children are going through, and resentment or conflict toward your spouse for having come to this point in your marriage. These are understandable emotions, but as an experienced mediator, I can help both of you work through these emotions with communication strategies and occasional breaks to allow emotions to calm.
I coach both of you to think through the goals you have for your children, then I help you work together to balance the children’s needs while guaranteeing time with each of you. Some child-centered concerns include providing the children with a regular routine and a familiar schedule to help them maintain a degree of stability; helping them remain in their school with their friends; and ensuring that they can continue to participate in activities to which they are accustomed.
It is my primary goal to help divorcing couples negotiate a satisfactory settlement with minimal cost, time, and emotional stress for them and their children. Whether mediation or collaborative law is better for you depends on your unique circumstances. Reach out to me at our Doylestown, Bucks County, PA office at (215) 345-5259 so that I can help you make the choice that is best for you. Your initial consultation is free.