Valentines Day During A Divorce

In my practice, I’ve seen that Valentine’s Day is often a time of upset or sorrow for clients going through a divorce. Greeting card, flower, balloon and candy vendors galore mark this week with a marketing blitz to rival Black Friday. Such symbols of “love” – and the pressure to be a giver or recipient of the same at sometimes astronomical prices – can be painful to someone in the midst of separation and break up.

Keep in mind that just because the commercial world has marked this as a “Hallmark moment,” the actual origins of the emotional onslaught that is now Valentine’s Day are far more sobering. According to the Catholic Church, which made Valentine the patron saint of love, young people and happy marriages, February 14 marks the day of the priest’s BEHEADING and martyrdom. That’s right. We Americans spend millions of dollars remembering a moment in 269 when a Roman priest met his maker with a sword on his neck.

True, before this happened, he defied the emperor Claudius II by refusing to renounce his Christian faith and marrying Christian couples in secret ceremonies. But he died for his faith, not because he believed young lovers should shower each other with red roses and poetry.

St. Valentine, then, can be seen as a symbol of self-renunciation and faith. Faith, in its simplest definition, means believing in something you cannot see. So why not turn your own Valentine’s Day into a symbol of believing in the future life you are building. This can help give this time of turmoil and emotional upheaval wider meaning. It can also make Valentine’s Day a symbol of hope, not despair.

Back in my office, my job is to sort through the legal and financial matters that will get you there. While you are waiting, skip the chocolates, the red hearts and the cards. Why not shower those you love, be it your children, family or friends, with the simplest of gifts – a kind word, a hug, a thoughtful note, or a moment of your time.