Stay or Go? Signs It May Be Time for a Divorce
In an ideal world, couples would always marry the right person and know what to do to keep the marriage happy. While some people do manage to do this, not everyone chooses the right person, and not everyone knows how to make a marriage work. So when your marriage is unhappy, how do you know if you should stay or go?
Signs the marriage can be salvaged
The most important factor in saving a marriage is that both spouses want to save the marriage. If this is the case, you will probably not need a divorce attorney, you will need a marriage counselor. With proper counseling to develop good communication skills, healthy conflict resolution, and perhaps forgiveness for past hurts, you could turn your difficult marriage into a very happy one.
Sometimes, even when one person wants to split, marriage counseling or support from other members of the family or religious leaders can help open that person’s heart to want to put out the effort to fix the marriage. If you have children, they are a very good reason to do everything possible to make the marriage a happy one again.
Signs it may be time for a divorce
Personality differences are not automatically a reason for divorce; after all, as the saying goes, opposites attract. Differences can actually work together to make you stronger. But if the personality differences cause you anxiety, depression, or fear, and you have tried to make your spouse understand this with no improvement, it may be time for a divorce.
Healthy communication and trust are critical in any relationship. If you as a couple communicate by yelling, insulting each other, or, to the other extreme, ignoring each other, and you can’t fix this through counseling or “agreeing to disagree,” it may be time for a divorce.
If your spouse is the actual source of your anxiety, fear, or feelings of worthlessness, and addressing the issue has not helped, it may be time for a divorce. If you are experiencing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, or your children are, then it is definitely time for immediate separation from the abusive situation and most likely time for divorce.
If one or both partners has no desire to put out any effort to save the marriage, it’s probably time for a divorce.
Why people stay when they should go
Some people stay in a hopelessly damaged marriage because they fear the unknown more than the suffering they’re currently enduring. Yes, divorce can be hard, and starting over again can be scary. But it could also be the light at the end of the tunnel for those who are experiencing truly painful marriages.
If you feel it’s time for you to divorce, reach out to us here in our Doylestown, PA office to see how we can help you with your divorce, mediation, or needs.