Pennsylvania Custody: Fighting over Thanksgiving

Fighting over Custody for this Thanksgiving week? You are not alone. The first Thanksgiving after divorce can be very difficult for the newly single parent looking to balance custody time with their young children. Even if the divorce is old news and growing smaller in the rear view mirror, gratitude at the turkey table may take a backseat to re-ignited custody battles with an ex.

Our law offices can help you create a Custody Stipulation that spells out holiday schedules in detail, so by Christmas a Court Order is in place to address these flashpoint issues. In the short run, though, being flexible is often the best way to be kind to yourself and your kids. If one parent needs to move a drop off or pickup time a few hours, consider compromising for the sake of the children. This is the hardest advice to accept when one parent perceives the other is using the kids as pawns.

Divorced parents spend much time texting, emailing and phoning to discuss pick up and drop off times. A sick child is a work-stopping event; figuring out in advance which parent takes the lead can alleviate the stress of nursing your child back to health.

Another tip is to create a parenting schedule. This could be any type of shared calendar that works for you two, but can get very elaborate and high-tech. The website custodyxchange.com gives some great examples of how to put custody schedules into calendar form – for a year in advance or more. A clearly agreed schedule can alleviate all kinds of emotional distress.

Here are some other tips for taking care of yourself if you are a Single Parent this Thanksgiving.

1. Call up a friend or family member to talk about Thanksgiving. Make the first move, don’t wait for them to call you. Reach out, and make yourself talk about all the things you are grateful for, as well as those things that trouble you.

2. If you are feeling down about your first Single Thanksgiving in years, treat yourself to something out of your ordinary. Take a walk outdoors, go to a music concert, try a more challenging exercise class or get a massage. Try and set a new Thanksgiving tradition for yourself.

3. Love your kids. Love them for who they are, right now, not who you want them to be. Make them your Number One Reason for Gratitude this Thanksgiving – and let them know it, frequently.

Here’s wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving, from all of us at our law office. When the gravy is cleaned up and the pumpkin pie is gone, we’ll still be here to help you create the best possible Custody arrangement, for you and your kids.