New Year’s Resolutions – divorce?
The last ornament is back in storage, the temperature has dropped, and deep midwinter is upon us. While nature pushes plant and animal life into dormancy or slow motion, it’s not uncommon for us to look inward and ask questions about our lives. Are we happy? Are we loving? Is our family “on track,” whichever track that may be?
The high expectations holidays place on us may make filing for divorce after Christmas emotionally perilous. Let’s face it, the most healthy family looks drab compared to the sugar-coated views we see all around us in movies, TV, print – even shop displays and cookie tins! The challenge of moving forward with divorce this time of year is to make sure we aren’t reacting to some impossible family standard of the past month. Rather, one hopes it comes after a slow, thoughtful and lengthy period of contemplating options.
Collaborative law is particularly good at helping you sort out the feelings and expectations that drive the urge to divorce. It does this by putting a social worker or counselor on the same team as your lawyer and financial advisor, so that you are truly addressing the whole picture of your life and your children’s lives. It shifts you from passenger to driver of the train. It gives your spouse an equal chance to shape their own new life, hopefully preserving at least some of the respect and hope that began your relationship. Best of all, it keeps your most private life out of the most public arena – court.
My website has information and videos explaining the process of collaborative law, and how it differs from mediation and traditional divorce proceedings. My office offers all three approaches. Check out my article entitled “Should I file for divorce?”
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