Mental Illness and Your Divorce
Mental illness or addiction in one spouse can have a devastating effect on a marriage. Schizophrenia, serious bipolar issues, depression, alcoholism, substance abuse, personality disorders, or narcissism affect not only the person suffering from the illness but all those the person comes in contact with, especially their family.
While some mental illnesses can be controlled by medication and professional help, a spouse whose problems are not under control can create an intolerable or even unsafe environment for you and your children, and divorce may be necessary for your family’s health and wellbeing.
At the Law Office and Mediation Services of Elissa C. Goldberg, we are experienced in helping people overcome challenging marital situations to bring some peace and harmony back into their lives. We can discuss with you the best options for your particular situation, whether that be fault or no-fault divorce, as well as child custody issues.
Fault vs. No-Fault Divorce
Pennsylvania allows no-fault divorce, which means spouses do not need to demonstrate a serious reason for divorcing. However, fault divorces are still available in PA for certain circumstances, including:
- Willful desertion for at least one year
- Adultery or bigamy
- Cruel and barbarous treatment – only one act is necessary, but it must be a serious, intentional threat with no provocation
- Conviction of crime and imprisonment for greater than two years
- Indignities – continuous humiliating, degrading, or malignant behavior that creates an intolerable living condition
A fault divorce can be more expensive and requires evidence for the fault that is being alleged. However, fault divorces are quicker than no-fault. No-fault divorces require a 90-day waiting period between filing and granting of the divorce and further require that the couple continuously live apart for at least one year before the divorce is granted.
A fault divorce does not require a waiting period, which may be important in cases of abuse or intolerable conditions. Mental illness in one spouse may create those conditions for you and/or your children, in which case, a fault divorce may be the better option.
Effect on Custody and Support
Custody and visitation are determined based on factors that impact the child’s mental, physical, and educational health and well-being, including the child’s particular needs, the stability of the home or visiting environment, and the parents’ fitness to take care of or to be with the child.
A history of mental illness does not automatically eliminate a parent’s custody or visitation rights, but it can greatly impact them. Mental illness that is well under control is less likely to impact custody decisions.
Mental illness could affect support obligation if the mentally ill parent is unable to work. Conversely, a healthy spouse may need to provide more support for a mentally incapacitated former spouse.
Challenges of Divorcing Someone with Mental Illness
The challenges of divorcing a mentally ill spouse can be substantial in the sense that the spouse may not be very cooperative. If your spouse’s condition has made life very difficult, that difficulty will probably continue through the divorce process, so make sure you set up a support network to help you through this time.
However, there’s another, very different challenge that could arise – one within you. Divorcing a spouse with mental illness could bring up questions of doubt and guilt: Am I doing the right thing? What if this makes him worse? What if she attempts suicide? What if he gets better and I abandoned him? Would she have gotten better if had I stayed? How will he cope without me? Will my in-laws hate me for abandoning her?
Be prepared for these feelings; they are the natural reaction of a compassionate person. Be ready to talk them out with a sensitive and supportive friend or a counseling professional. In the end, you must protect yourself and your children. Put you – and them – first.
Contact us here at the Law Office and Mediation Services of Elissa C. Goldberg to see how we can help you through this trying time.