Divorce and children: Are your kids stressed about your divorce? Well they don’t have to be.

Many parents worry their children will suffer emotional distress during the divorce process. We’ve all heard of couples who choose to stay in unhappy marriages “for the kids.” However, studies have shown that very few children experience serious problems after a divorce. If parents are able to put their differences aside and turn to negotiating processes like mediation or collaborative law to resolve their issues, the children involved will greatly benefit.

Judith S. Wallerstein with the School of Social Welfare, University of California at Berkeley, and Dr. Joan B. Kelly with the Department of Psychiatry, Mt. Zion Hospital and Medical Center, San Francisco collectively ran a study from 1971 to 2004 on 131 children who were 3 -18 years old when their parents divorced. Their research found that in marriages where parents endured years of demeaning treatment by their spouse, children usually welcomed the dissolution of the marriage. Despite the fact that divorce may be the best solution to a destructive family culture, most children will still experience a painful period of transition. Even children who later recognize that the divorce had a positive outcome will first undergo considerable emotional distress. Wallerstein and Kelly’s 2004 research report suggests that most children can cope and adapt to the short-term crisis of divorce within a few years; however, if the crisis is combined with multiple stresses or adversity, developmental disruptions may occur (Wallerstein & Kelly, 2004).

The most favorable and child-focused divorce option is mediation. Not only does mediation minimize the cost of divorce, it also allows the family to be in control of the outcome and a functional parenting plan. Mediation creates a fair, peaceful divorce if you and your spouse are both willing to be transparent and engage in a good faith negotiation that can meet your unique needs, while allowing each of you to get what you want and move forward.

Elissa has served as a mediator for parents going through the divorce process for more than 20 years. Call my office today at 215-345-5259 for a free initial consult and keep your family matters private and your children first.

– Siena Cerra for the Law Office of Elissa C. Goldberg, Esquire

Law Office of Elissa C. Goldberg
107 North Broad Street, Suite 211
Doylestown, PA 18901