Custody Issues in Pennsylvania

When parents divorce, custody must be discussed. This can quickly become the most contentious aspect of divorce, as custody issues linger long past the date of the Divorce Decree. One of the hardest areas of practice for a Family Law attorney is custody as the real human suffering of divorce is on display, as well as the effect on children of divorce.

At Law Office and Mediation Services of Elissa C. Goldberg, we focus on the people, not the problems in your unique case. My associates and I work hard to gain a thorough understanding of your specific situation and custody questions.

Our emphasis on negotiation over litigation – particularly when children are involved –  is why we are dedicated to processes such as mediation or collaborative law. Both approaches keep kids and their parents out of Court and the decision making where it belongs – in the hands of the parents. These methods also align with our feeling that you ought to encourage your child’s relationship with the other parent, refrain from coloring their experience of your ex, and work to keep up family traditions – both new and old – to reassure your kids that their sense of family is able to survive a divorce.

If an issue proceeds to a Custody Conference or Hearing, however, our philosophy is that it is in your own best interest to observe some guidelines as to how you interact with and document your conversations with your ex. We know you are only human and, when it comes to your children, the deepest emotions are aroused. Still, you need to understand that how you express your feelings can be used against you in custody matters.

1. Attempt to be amicable and reasonable about custody matters. Do your best to set a schedule that minimizes discomfort and stress for your kids. Put their needs above your own logistical preferences.
2. Be flexible and patient. I know parents sometimes don’t want to do this, but every child’s schedule or parent’s needs change from time to time. The Court will view you as a better parent if you can show reasonable flexibility.
3. Document your interactions with your ex about custody arrangements. Texting is simplest, emails are best as written documentation. If talking by phone works best for you, be sure to write down a few notes of what transpired after the phone call is complete. Also, document any egregious variations in the agreed upon arrangement.
4. Don’t verbally abuse your ex about custody issues. I can’t emphasize this enough. Perhaps you think your ex is changing the custody agreement without your input. Perhaps you think his/her requests for you to change something are galling. Either way, don’t harass, scream or otherwise verbally abuse him/her over your differences.
5. Don’t use social media to denigrate your ex. In this day and age, Facebook posts, texts, or other social media are often used to lash out at someone in anger. DON’T DO IT. In fact, I actually suggest you discontinue or close your social media accounts during custody or divorce disputes. Anything you post becomes a matter of public record and may very well be used against you in court.
6. None of the above applies if you perceive your child to be in physical or emotional danger. Pennsylvania law places child safety over custody arrangements. If you suspect your child is being sexually or physically abused while in your former partner’s care, you should report this immediately to Child Protective Services. Don’t play around with your child’s health and wellbeing.

Contact my office at 215-345-5259 to schedule a free consult about your custody issue.

– Elissa C. Goldberg, Esquire

Law Office of Elissa C. Goldberg
107 North Broad Street, Suite 211
Doylestown, PA 18901