Collaborative Divorce vs. Mediation – What’s the Difference?

Every marriage is different and every divorce is different. For this reason, there are several options for settling a divorce. As a divorce attorney in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, I have found that mediation and collaborative law are being utilized more and more frequently in order to avoid the long, expensive, contentious process of litigation in a traditional divorce.

Several key goals of both mediation and collaborative law are to keep the divorce out of court; to give you more control over your future; to speed up the process; to decrease the cost, both financial and emotional; and to maintain privacy (because when a divorce goes to court, your private information becomes public record).

While there are some similarities between the two processes, there are also some major differences that you will need to consider in order to determine which is best for you. 

How does mediation work?

Mediation in a divorce involves the couple and a neutral party (mediator) who facilitates discussion, resolves conflicts, informs the couple on various points of the law without advising them, and helps the couple find creative, peaceful ways to resolve issues. When there are bumps in the process, we may take a break on that issue but revisit it later with a spirit of finding the best solution. 

Mediation usually involves up to 4 sessions over 3-4 months. It is the least expensive and quickest method of resolving a divorce. There is no requirement that the couple must settle, and one or both parties may decide to litigate; however, in my experience, mediation is often highly successful. The couple maintains control over their future, they make their own decisions rather than giving that power over to a judge who doesn’t know them, and they experience much less emotional pain. Healing can begin much more quickly, and much less money is spent. 

Mediation cannot be used in divorces cases involving child abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, mental illness, or ongoing criminal issues. 

How does collaborative law work?

In collaborative law, each spouse hires his or her own attorney, and all four sign an agreement not to litigate. They are committed to settling out of court. The benefit of collaboration is that you have your own attorney whose goal is to help you get the very best settlement. In collaborative law, there may also be present a child specialist, divorce coach, financial planner, or therapist, as needed.

However, with all these additional people, collaborative law takes longer, is much more expensive, and can be more contentious than mediation. Yet, because of the agreement that is signed, the lawyers are still focused on cooperation.

If collaborative law does not work, both spouses must choose a different lawyer in order to continue litigation in court. 

Side-by-side comparison

It helps to look at each aspect of these two options side by side: 

Cost: Mediation is significantly less expensive than collaborative law, but both are much less expensive than litigation. 

Time: Mediation is usually completed in a few months; a collaborative divorce usually takes 4 – 6 months. However, litigation can take 2 years or more, because of the constant back-and-forth negotiations, attempts at settlement, and an overbooked court system. 

Neutrality: In mediation, the mediator is neutral, providing you with no legal advice and not preferring one spouse over the other. In collaboration, each spouse has an attorney who offers advice and tries to help you get the very best outcome. 

Number of experts to pay and coordinate: Mediation requires only one expert, the mediator. However, each spouse may choose to hire an attorney, if desired, with whom to discuss their case outside of the mediation sessions. Collaborative divorce requires at least two attorneys and any additional experts who are needed. 

Success of outcomes: Agreements settled upon from both mediation and collaboration tend to last much longer – not needing modification – than decisions reached through divorce court. This is because often the litigated settlement takes place under some duress or because the judge’s decision is not satisfactory to one or both parties. Both mediation and collaboration keep the control in the hands of the divorcing couple, so outcomes are much more satisfactory to both parties and beneficial to any children.

What’s best for you?

You know your situation. One of these may seem to fit just right, just from reading the description. However, you and your spouse need to both agree on it. Please give me a call at (215) 345-5259 for a complimentary initial consultation so that we can discuss your situation and get you moving into the next stage of your life with minimal conflict and maximum success.