Are You Ready to Divorce? Hoping to Keep Your Divorce Civil?

If you want to keep your Bucks County divorce civil, you should want to keep it out of court. Civil court, which includes family court, is a misnomer when it comes to divorce. It is not at all conducive to keeping things “civil.” The family court system is overburdened, causing the divorce process to draw out for years. The cost of legal representation grows dramatically as time goes on, and anger and resentment increase because each spouse is trying to “win” against the other. In my experience, it’s almost impossible to have a civil divorce – meaning civilized and respectful – when the couple ends up in civil court. 

The solution is mediation

Mediation is the answer to this dilemma, which is why I have dedicated my career to mediation services here in Doylestown, in Bucks County, PA. With divorce mediation, we walk through a process committed to reasonableness and peace. As your mediator, I inform you about particular points of law without giving legal advice, resolve conflicts, and help you come up with creative and mutually-satisfactory solutions to disputes. I help you determine what your core goals are and find ways to compromise so you each walk away satisfied. 

The benefits of mediation over civil court are many:

• Mediation is a much quicker process, usually involving only a few sessions over 3-4 months
• Mediation is significantly less expensive, both because it is faster and because there is no need for additional attorney fees, although some people do have the agreement reviewed by an independent legal professional before signing
• Mediation always results in much greater satisfaction with the final agreement, because the couple decides what’s best for them, rather than turning over their fate and their future to a judge who does not know them
• Mediation can be very healing because it does not increase the pain and anger. Instead, it helps the couple find peace and cooperation rather than being adversaries on two sides of a lawsuit 

Mediation cannot be used when there is a history of child abuse or domestic violence, or when there is ongoing substance abuse, mental illness, or criminal issues. In all other situations, I encourage divorcing couples to consider mediation first. There is no obligation to settle with mediation; on occasion, the couple decides to transition to collaborative law or litigation (going to court). But in my experience, mediation usually works.

Another solution is collaborative law

Because couples have different dynamics, our office also offers collaborative services. Collaborative law, like mediation, has significant advantages over litigation. In collaboration, each spouse retains a lawyer, but all four sign an agreement not to litigate. 

As with litigation, you have your own lawyer who is working to help you negotiate the best agreement; unlike litigation, the lawyer is committed to settling out of court and developing a cooperative environment rather than a combative one. Other experts, such as a financial planner, child development specialist, or therapist, may be brought in as needed to aid in discussion or in finding agreement. 

While this method is less expensive and faster than litigation, it costs more and takes a little longer than mediation. However, in a situation in which there are strong emotions or complicated issues to be resolved, collaboration is a wonderful option that still keeps the couple out of court and gives them control over their lives and their settlement. 

Whether you choose mediation or collaborative law, both of you have to agree. Please give me a call at (215) 345-5259 for a complimentary initial consultation so that we can discuss your situation, determine which method is best for you, and get you moving into the next stage of your life with minimal conflict and maximum success.