Divorce Court How to be your best self in Pennsylvania courts
Over the years, I’ve noticed some plaintiffs or defendants come across with more legitimacy in the courtroom than others. Judges, of course, are trained to listen to the facts and apply the law. But they are also human, and so can read a thousand verbal and nonverbal cues. Sometimes, much may depend on how believable a witness you are for yourself.
So, here’s a list of ways to prepare for your appearance before the law, be it a conference with a Domestic Relations or Support Master, or in a courtroom. Some of these suggestions may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people forget about the basics.
DRESS APPROPRIATELY. At a minimum, Business casual is the prevailing dress code. Dressing to full professional level can only add to the good impression. Remember the catchphrase “Dress for Success?” Isn’t the courtroom a place you want to be the most successful? Therefore: no jeans, no baggy pants, no sneakers, no flip flops or shorts, be modest in length of skirt and tuck in your shirt. If you are entitled to wear a uniform, wear it. Some judges might consider the lack of a tie or wearing of a leather jacket unacceptable; let your attorney guide you in this. Observing the decorum of the court and its air of solemnity lets the judge know you respect his or her courtroom.
SPEAK SLOWLY, CAREFULLY AND WITH CONSIDERATION. Make note of whether the room is noisy or quiet, and be sure to speak over the distractions. Use your “outside” voice. You want the judge or court officer to hear you, right? That’s why they call it a “Hearing,” after all. If there is a microphone, adjust it to the level of your mouth and speak into it. If the judge or officer has to keep interrupting you to ask you to speak up or slow down, it will distract from your argument.
ANSWER THE QUESTION DIRECTLY, TO THE POINT, AND WITHOUT EXTRANEOUS EXPLANATIONS. Court officers hear an awful lot of whys and because ofs, when really they just asked a yes or no question. Resist the urge to put it in context; that is what your Attorney will do for you.
KEEP STILL. Everyone is nervous at court. Every judge or officer knows that. Don’t be afraid to be nervous, yet do your best to keep your feet still, don’t bounce your knee, tap your pencil, or otherwise let your nerves spill out into distracting motion. By the way, DON’T SHAKE YOUR HEAD or otherwise let your disagreement be known in inappropriate ways while the other side is making its case. You may highly disagree, but be calm about it, consult with your attorney, and observe the demeanor of those around you. Believe me, a judge will count it against YOU if you lose your temper, scream, or call the other side names.
NO GUM OR CANDY CHEWING. It’s just not polite. Obviously, no smoking either; you’ll be escorted right out of the court building if you light up. NO CELL PHONES either; don’t just silence them, turn them off.
I guess this list really adds up to one, overarching concept: Respect. Respect for the judge, the officer, and the process. You may be hopping mad. You may be anxious for validation or repudiation. You may feel provoked by statements made by the other party. But the most overwhelming feeling you need to have is that the court process is bigger than you, your opposing party, and your divorce, and that you need to find a place in its flow.
This certainly will save you some emotional wear and tear, and may likely help sway things in favor of your case.