How to Avoid a Lengthy Divorce
The first step to avoiding a protracted, lengthy divorce is to stay out of court. Litigation is expensive, emotionally draining, and can drag on for years because the family courts are overwhelmed by cases. Litigation involves multiple trips to the courtroom, and each one may have to be scheduled many months apart to find room in the court schedule. Worse still, court dates can be canceled or postponed at the last minute for a wide variety of reasons.
Not only does this long delay cause frustration and stress, but it also makes the divorce significantly more expensive and emotionally draining, and neither spouse is usually happy with the judge’s final decision.
Alternatives to divorce court
Divorce mediation and collaborative law are two options that allow a couple to bypass divorce court and settle their divorce quickly with less cost and less stress. Both of these methods involve negotiation, but in most cases, a divorcing couple who litigates must attend a court-appointed mediation session even before seeing the judge, so this step can’t be avoided.
In my experience at our law office in Bucks County, PA, when divorcing couples choose mediation or collaboration over divorce court, they are often surprised by how well they can cooperate at the negotiation table. With the help of a mediator or collaborative attorneys, they are able to make significant progress in a short time by weighing the needs and wants of each person, including the children, in a non-combative atmosphere.
You did not reach the point of divorce easily, and there is undoubtedly hurt on both sides, but if you are willing to be amicable, for the sake of a speedy resolution, significant financial savings, and less strain on the family, you can come to a mutually-satisfactory settlement through mediation or collaboration.
Differences between mediation and collaboration
While both options can save you time, money, and stress and can lead to a satisfying outcome, there are significant differences that may determine which option is best for you.
Parties involved: Mediation usually only involves one mediator along with the couple. In collaborative law, each spouse has a personal attorney to advocate on his or her behalf. In addition, in collaborative law, support persons may be called on, as needed (counselor, financial expert, etc.)
Role of mediator and lawyers: The mediator can guide the couple through the issues, make observations, and express solutions that have worked for other couples, but the mediator may not offer legal advice. The mediator remains neutral and helps the couple work together to find solutions. The lawyers in collaboration, however, offer legal advice to their own clients and advocate more vigorously in favor of their clients. The couple still has much to say and do, but the lawyers are involved in the work of negotiation.
Timeframe: Mediation is quicker than collaboration and is usually completed within a few sessions over a period of a few weeks to months. Collaboration, while much quicker than court, may last longer.
Cost: Mediation is the least expensive option. Usually, only the mediator needs to be paid, although sometimes spouses may hire a lawyer to discuss the case outside mediation sessions or to review the settlement before signing it. Collaborative law requires at least two lawyers and they both must be paid for their time during the sessions as well as for hours spent working on your case. You may also have additional experts to pay. Nonetheless, collaborative law will still require fewer hours and fewer fees than going to court.
Commitment: If mediation doesn’t work, you and your spouse can decide to go to court or decide to try collaborative law. For collaborative law, you, your spouse, and your lawyers must sign an agreement that you will not litigate. This agreement encourages the lawyers and the couple to focus on cooperation.
Choosing what’s right for you
Only you know your situation. Both of you have to decide what you think would be best. Review our website and our various articles. Then make an appointment for a complimentary consultation to discuss your needs. If necessary, we can schedule a longer chat with both of you to hear the full details and guide you in deciding the best option for you.
Our goal at the Law Office and Mediation Services of Elissa C. Goldberg is to help you quickly resolve your divorce in the most beneficial manner, leaving you with plenty of time, money, and emotional well-being to start your new stage in life.