Divorce Expectations: Do You Want Your Day In Court?

If you’ve been deeply emotionally hurt by your spouse, you may be tempted to drag your soon-to-be ex into court and share with the judge all the awful things he or she has done. We caution against this because in our experience, it almost never works out the way you think it will. Most people are not satisfied with the court’s decisions, and the judge’s word is final. 

There are strong reasons to avoid a trial divorce here in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. A courtroom is not the appropriate place to complain about your spouse. Save that for your sympathetic friends and family. Since every marriage is different and divorce cases are usually emotionally charged, the judge has the difficult job of disregarding emotions and finger-pointing while trying to determine what is “fair” in the eyes of the court. The judge is required by law to weigh the facts of the case and try to come to a fair judgment. However, what the judge thinks is fair may not be what you think is fair. Nonetheless, whatever the court decides, you’re stuck with it. 

Pennsylvania is an equitable distribution state which means assets and debts that are considered marital property will be divided according to equity, or what the judge determines is equitable based on facts presented in court. PA law provides a list of factors that the court uses in making this judgment, including 

• The length of the marriage
• The income of each spouse and future prospects of income
• Which parent will have physical custody of the children
• The standard of living during the marriage
• The health of spouses and children, among others. 

The court will then divide assets (and debts) according to what seems fair but you may not agree with the division.

If you have children, the PA judge is required to make decisions in the best interests of the child. Except in cases of obvious abuse, children have the right to spend time with their parents and vice versa. The judge may decide on a division of time and a division of holidays that you may not like.

Besides these powerful reasons to avoid court cases, there is the money and time involved. Court divorces can drag on for more than a year, or even two years, and can run up very high legal bills. You will need to meet with your lawyer repeatedly before, during, and after court hearings. Each hearing will have to be squeezed into an already overburdened court schedule, which means each hearing could be many months apart, dragging your divorce out further and further.

Most people who go through a court divorce also mention a heavy emotional toll, causing stress for themselves and their children, increasing animosity between spouses, and creating a long period of insecurity until the divorce is finally settled. 

All of these reasons and more are why I chose to focus my practice on mediation and collaborative law. I saw too much unnecessary suffering and expense in the court system, and at my law firm, I do everything in my power to create an environment that is as comfortable and stress-free as possible during divorce negotiations.  

You and your spouse should be the ones making decisions for your family and your future. Mediation – even in high conflict – keeps decision-making in your hands. Give us a call at our Doylestown Bucks County office, (215) 345-5259, for a complimentary consultation to see how we can help you.