Pennsylvania: How does divorce mediation work?

Divorce mediation is a particular specialty in the larger field of mediation. In Pennsylvania, mediators are not certified, so be sure to examine the background of a mediator you intend to hire for your divorce. As the name implies, mediation is the process of finding a median, or midpoint, where two parties in conflict can reasonably accept resolution. In divorce, the matters discussed are very specific – what will happen to the family home? How will mutual debt be paid? How will shared custody look in a newly split family? It is important that you hire a mediator who understands these questions and has experience in several scenarios of resolution.

The term “divorce mediation,” is somewhat misleading. You are not mediating the divorce, which is the legal and emotional process of separating two spouses. You are mediating the discussion about how that separation can most fairly be achieved.

There is inherent opposition in any mediation. Successful use of mediation in divorce requires that both spouses commit to minimize distress and find a fair separation of assets and debts. Parents also choose mediation to maximize stability for children. After all, co-parenting continues long past the date of the divorce decree, and the commitment to the mediation process is a good training ground for future co-parenting choices.

The first step of the process is identifying a mediator that both parties perceive as reasonable. It is important that each spouse, together or individually, meet with the mediator to discuss their hopes and fears about what lies ahead.

In my office, I send the parties a mediation contract that spells out my role, confidentiality and payment terms. I then ask for extensive financial documentation before I schedule a session. This includes downloading and/or printing out complete statements and documents proving the value of all assets and debts as of the date of separation. Supportable facts help keep the sessions on track.

I then sketch out a list of assets and debts and an agenda, and a first session is scheduled. Couples far along in their discussions might only need one session to fine tune their agreement. More typically, 2-3 sessions are necessary. In either case, I keep careful notes, the participants are provided with summaries of each session to approve, and I draft a Memorandum of Understanding (Property Settlement Agreement) and/or Custody Stipulation.

Transparency is essential to the success of divorce mediation. As an attorney, I work only for one party. As a mediator I work for both equally. Both parties have priorities; as mediator, it is my job to see that both parties’ concerns are addressed. I make it a point to copy both parties on all correspondence, including emails and phone calls. All draft documents are sent to both parties at the same time.

A Memorandum of Understanding can be as short or as long as it needs to be to address all issues in a defensible way. Issues typically resolved are: division of marital property and retirement funds; division of debt; alimony and, sometimes, child support matters. The document that evolves during mediation becomes a fully detailed, legal contract that can be filed with the Court once properly executed.

At this point, the shared mediation process ends and the two parties are again opposing spouses. I always recommend that one or both parties hire a lawyer to complete the divorce and/or review the agreement solely from their own point of view. A mediator cannot ethically also serve as divorce attorney to either one of the parties as this would be a conflict of interest. Most typically, the mediation process itself establishes enough trust in the documents that the completion of the divorce process is faster.

If you are interested in learning more about the divorce mediation process, contact my office at 215-345-5259 to schedule a free first consult.

– Elissa C. Goldberg, Esquire

Law Office of Elissa C. Goldberg
107 North Broad Street, Suite 211
Doylestown, PA 18901